Thoughts on Self-Care

Shopping for Joy

Many years ago, I attended a workshop and the facilitator made the comment that reading the newspaper or watching the news is like shopping for junk. While I do encourage people to stay up to date on current affairs, I understand the facilitator’s sentiment. I often ask people to analyze their day by asking “How much time do you spend per day being exposed to painful stories and violent material?” This includes not only what you might be exposed to during working hours (e.g., vicarious trauma), but also what you read or hear in the news, and watch on television. A couple of years ago I was feeling particularly downhearted and realized I was good at noticing the bad and feeling hopeless about the state of the world. I was out of practice of noticing the good around me. As a result, I gave myself the shopping for joy challenge. The challenge was to identify things outside of what I knew I was grateful for in my life (e.g., health, family, friends and career) and that are joyful or uplifting. I made the challenge more difficult by stating that the joys had to be unrelated to holidays or media-grabbing situations that compelled others to be generous with their time or money (e.g., large-scale disasters or problems). I looked for everyday events that outweighed the pain in life. Within two weeks, I had a folder stuffed with good news stories relegated to the back pages of the newspaper, comics that made me laugh, and new memories from my experience. I have continued this practice and no longer need a folder to capture joy. Some of my favorite joyous moments include a young man who gave my elderly aunt his seat; witnessing three teenagers experiencing two hours of fun and laughter by making up a game with three plastics cups, while their iphones sat on the table untouched; watching a group of children play outside; and observing a man routinely bring his dog to the local nursing home. When the dog died, the residents pooled their money and bought him a puppy. What about you? What are you shopping for?

- Courtesy of the Connecticut Women's Consortium

Submitted by Eileen Russo